To Shop, or not to Shop...

Ladies,

I want to take this moment and applaud you, because in spite of a harsh economy, raising children, working a full-time job, and dealing with business meetings. We still managed to look good by doing what we do best to relieve stress- SHOP, SHOP, SHOP.

A recent study shows there has been a steady increase in retail shopping between the years of 2008-2011. The year 2008 was the biggest upset for all retail venues, even in auto and motor vehicle sales.

When I read this information, it appeared to me, we love to shop and in spite of a harsh economy, we still have to look good, so we continue to shop. 

This study intrigued me so I had to see what store has been the number one store is Wal-Mart. According to About.com Wal-Mart is not only the largest global retailer; it is also on of the largest companies of any kind in the world. (No wonder it’s a Wal-Mart everywhere)

I do believe I was doing a lot of shopping in Wal-Mart these pass few years.  The study also showed a decline in auto and motor vehicles.  Meaning, even though we could not by cars and had to go to the neighbor to get an oil change, we still looked good while we were trying to save.

Also, while doing some shopping today, I notice that every store has a sale going on, almost every weekend. I see why we cannot stop shopping; no one can give up a good sale, right?

If its not buy one and one half off, it’s everything fifty percent off, and if you are like me then you cannot resist fifty percent off.

Thankfully, all fields are increasing with the economy making a complete turn-around from the recession and maybe we can get out of Wal-Mart and back into the mall.

Until we are completely out of the recession ladies, continue to do what you do best and shop until your heart’s content

Getting in Shape for Summer

Recently, I joined the gym, and it has been hard work to stay motivated and go each day. A friend of mine decided we should get a trainer, now I'm not really into someone yelling at me like a drill sergeant, and telling me to do 50 push-ups (when I can only do five). Well, reluctantly I decided to get a trainer and I love it. He really work with me and not to mention he is HOTT!! Besides the fact that he is handsome, he has really explained to me the importance of working-out and eating healthy. So I decided to share them with you. So far I have lost 10-pounds and well on my way to being bikini-ready by summertime.
Listed below are five great ideas to shedding the pounds:

1. Drink plenty of water, say no to soda, alcohol, juice, and try to drink two percent milk , instead of whole milk.

2. Work out at least three times a week, and make sure you incorporate cardio in your workouts.

3. Try the 1500 calorie a day diet. Now I know counting calories is no fun but its easy, just keep a daily food journal and eat plenty of fruit between meals and you will have 1500 calories. Also, just say no to fast food.

4. Walk daily, even when you go to the gym, always walk. You have to get your body use to moving, then the pounds will fall off.

5. Stay Positive! Just because you might not see the results within two weeks, keep working and stay motivated.

These steps will get you started on your weight lost and you will be Summertime fine, n due time!

Click on the headline to leave a comment, I would love to hear from you.

Life Expectations

    Life is what you make it, well what will I make of my life. I feel like I've done a lot, I've experience a lot, found love and lost love and through it all I hold my head in hopes of a brighter day.
     This summer, has been the best so far. My girls and I have traveled, danced the night away and become closer than ever. Before the summer started I made up in my mind that I was going to enjoy life for once and not be hindered by my past. I set my goals and I reached them.
     So now I'm writing because I hope to encourage others to do the same, set your goals and strive to reach them. Many people go through life giving up on themselves, with no hope to succeed. I am here to tell you, don't be one of those people. Inspire to be great beyond your means, inspire to be successful, brilliant, and financially stable. Don't settle for what the haters of your past have tried to subject you to, instead rise above all the doubts that were suppressed  upon you and become a winner. Become who you are destined to be. and set your own life expectation, living up to your own standards.
      Over the summer I read Hill Harper's "Letter's to a Young Sister;  DeFINE your Destiny", such an inspirational book. In his book he outlines goals we as young women neglect to have. Goals such as seeking financial freedom, having self-love for one self, and experiencing independenence. This book has literally changed my life in a way that I am encouraged to do better as well as determined to be great. I have never read a book that touch so many subjects that I was familiar with from self love, sex, financial freedom, educational importance and overcoming your haters. This book sets out the guidelines for life expectations and how to define your destiny, not the destiny someone has outlined for you.
      While reading this book I recalled a sermon I once heard by Rev T.D. Jake's in the sermon he stated "Take your Life by the Throat and Live it to the fullest" I want you to remember this quote and know that in spite of what hard balls life has thrown your way, no matter what your haters might say, whatever the circumstance was. Live out Your expectations and live life to the fullest in spite of the odds.
Be Blessed

Deuces

      Recently I had a conversation with my soul sister, I call her my soul sister because we come from the same place and we strive to be great. She is my best friend and my sister from another mother, we see the world as if we are looking through one set of eyes. We were on our way to Atlanta to write one for the memory books and we were talking about relationships. Lately my ex has been the topic of discussion. As we rode up I-85, with the wind blowing through our hair at 2 a.m. in the morning, yep 2 a.m. I had an epiphany and I realize I have allowed this guy control over me and he is no where near me. In fact I haven't seen him in months and he still has control over me. I mean every time I am amongst friends I talk about him.
    As we were riding I recalled a post I had read on his facebook page (thanks to my friend for being his friend)  his sister and his fiancee were talking about me saying how I was rude to his mom and basically making a mockery of our relationship. Well I was deeply troubled and highly upset by these comments.
     I wanted to lash out but I decided not to, this was a step in getting him out of my system. When I was with this guy I always second guess myself and I always relied on his opinion about me, if he told me I was beautiful, I felt beautiful;  if he told me that I shouldn't wear something or I shouldn't do something I wouldn't , he had that much power over me. But, as we were riding on this journey to follow my dreams and define my destiny ( I was going to audition for a reality show)  Keri and I continued to talk about this guy, mainly she did the talking and I listen and cosign, I realize that I am continuing to give him the power. He is still winning and I am still losing.
     This guy isn't losing sleep over me and talking about me so why am I? Am I that blinded by love that I continue to allow it to have power over me? Well not anymore. We continued to talk until I realize that I was indeed over this. My friends told me that it would take just as long to get over him as it did to get into him, well I disagreed with that cause it took awhile for me to get into him so I'll be damn if it takes just as long. Like Mary said "I've done enough crying, now its time to do something for me."
        So the weekend in Atlanta was the start of me following my dreams and listening to my heart. Even though I didn't get chosen to be apart of the show. I still felt good because for the first time I was doing something for myself and for that I am a winner. Also, I realize that I don't need a man to justify me just thinking about it makes me upset with myself , I mean I must have been out of my mind to let it go on this long. As I write this final chapter to the ex-factor I reminisce on all the opportunities I have missed out on in the past 7 years and I refuse to miss anymore. I can  officially smile again.  : )
        Once I got home I went to the gym and later told the friend who is friends with my ex on facebook to delete him as a friend. I told her I don't need the updates on his life and  i just want to move on, to be frank I'm tired of it. I'm not just writing this for myself but also for the woman  that is going through something similar, the one who can't imagine life without him, the one who cries herself to sleep at night because of the wrong he has done to her and how no matter what he does, she continues to open her door's  to him. This, hopefully, will be inspiration for the one who jumps from man to man just so she won't think about him in hopes of getting his attention, and for the one who just wants to get away but don't know how.
        Now my mom and her generation would call us a fool for the things we allow ourselves to go through but they have to realize we are a different generation. We are the ones who saw them struggle and we don't want to go through the same thing so we seek refuge in a man who we believe will take care of us but we are mistaken and we have to learn, can't no man take care of us like we can take care of ourselves.
       This is to my ladies remember it has already been outlined, we are the caregivers and they are the providers but when they don't provide we have to move on even if we are unsure of what tomorrow might bring that's when faith steps in and our father -that guy who sits high but looks low- will become our provider.
        OK, so back to my story I had the best time in Atlanta with my girl and I can't wait to move there (yep I'm claiming it) but this trip was meant for me to take so I could finally do what I needed to do and that was to get fed up and tired of this situation and take my mind back once and for all. From now on I will follow my heart and seek to please God. From now on I'm doing me and I know some people are not always going to agree nor understand but that is what will make life more fulfilling and rewarding. I know it was people who didn't agree with us going to Atlanta but its life and we in it to win it. To my friend who is losing sleep over that guy, the one who can't keep her composure when he comes around, and the one who gets angry when she realize that once again she has been played... Remember it ain't worth it because that guy that won't act right its one that's right in your face that will. So in the words of the greatest lyricist of all time Tupac "Keep ya head up" we should all listen to that song sometimes, it truly my motivation.

Chrisette Michele said it best "Blame it on Me, say It's My fault, say that I left you outside in the cold with a broken heart.....say that I'm a liar, cheater, say what you like"

EX-FACTOR

So I logged into my myspace and saw I had a friend request from my ex. This guy was my first love, my heart and my whole purpose for living. We had many ups and downs, but our downs outweighed our ups toward the end of the relationship. We were the typical college couple, we experienced the sunshine and storms together. The '04 Bonnie and Clyde is what we called ourself when we first got together. So now its 2010 and through it all we didn't end up together. No ring, no kids, no pickett fence, nothing but dreams shattered and love lost. So why am I upset and still talking about it, Well when he requested me to be his friend in his message to me he said " Im getting married" Now we just ended this on again off again relationship back in Feb and now its May and he is engaged. WTF -excuse my language. He has always been the type to fall hard for someone but never to this extent.
 Everything I did, I did it for him for us and now he is marrying someone else. Everything I worked so hard for is completely over with. It wouldn't hurt as bad if he would have just let me go a long time ago but he never did, he held on sucking the life out of me until I had nothing left.  Why do we as women give our all to a guy that doesn't give a damn for us. I bet if she had to go through half of the things I went through with him she would think twice about marrying him. OK enough venting back to the point .
I just don't understand why he sent that to me why tell me that out of all the things to say, you tell me that... I would have never told him. Especially since we are not talk.
Honestly I wish him well but a part of me wants it to be me and the othe part is thankful its not. I have mixed feelings and I hate that I feel this way. This ex-factor thing is deep if I would have known it would come down to this I would have never kissed him that first night. Its funny how I remember everyy little detail about our relationship but when I use to ask him he would tell me he didn't remember. Thinking back I should have forgot to. In fact this is the last time Im going to think about it and move on
I pray

Be the You, Are Destined To Be

Chrisette Michele said it best” It’s time to start acting right, get myself together, grow up and get my mind right…. Time to start making big girl doe and step out my jeans and put my grown clothes own …I’m a big girl now”. When are we as women going to step out and grow up? We constantly say we are on our “grown woman” but are we truly grown or are we just playing make-believe.


Black women in today’s society are constantly screaming they are independent and how they don’t need a man. We say we are all about our “poker chips” but when the chips are gone we hold our hand out to the nearest man to suffice our monetary needs , well at least until the next check come, right. Even when the checks are in we still feel as if they are suppose to take care of us when we are truly suppose to take care of them. Remember we are the caregiver and he is the protector. For years women have been the backbone of our society, through history lessons it has been proven that we can make it on our own, we can hold the home down and we can be independent while during so.


Many women have lost sight of this aspect of being a woman. We constantly hide behind our families to help us find our way and push us in the right direction, instead of stepping out on faith. While some, instead of relying on their family, marry the first guy that say he loves them, not knowing that a marriage is a lifetime commitment and a lot of these guys out here are not ready for that, causing the woman to be a single parent while still married. We have to get it together ladies if not we will never become the person we are destined to be and in return settling for a life of misery, depression and regret.


Now I know there are some women who have their “ish” together and on a path of good fortune, fun times, and true happiness and we should salute those women, but there are many who have begun to settle for the life they have fallen into and it is sad. We need to get back to the basics and do what makes us happy. If going to school makes you happy, do it. If starting your own business makes you happy, do it. Just do it, no more excuses and no more what-if’s, remember Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither were you. Be the you, are destined to be and stop settling for less, remember we are descendants of kings and queens. We come from a place where women held the home down with a man or without one. So who are we to settle? From this moment on let’s make it our business to get back in line and make it to the finishing line. You define your own destiny if you want to continue to live in misery you will but if you want to step out and be powerful then you can it only takes one step and faith the size of a mustard seed. Be Blessed


TrinaJaye

Getting Over It.

People often wonder if they will experience "true love", and as women we are constantly looking for our prince charming. Sometimes settling, we often take the pauper and attempt to turn him into our prince, but that never works out unless we are truly willing to devote all of our time, energy, and soul to reaching that goal. Then if that doesn't work out the way we want too, we turn into bitter women before the age of twenty -five. We begin to preach to our other girlfriends about how men are no good or how we are just tired of being played and want something real. Well my question is, didn't you know that man was no good when you met him. Yes, the signs were there now let me prove it to you...

On your first date you went over his house, dorm room, or just by riding in his car you saw signs he wasn't your “prince charming” by the first thing he did, something simple as he didn't open the door for you, his room was mess, or he cursed after every word. But instead of leaving it there you decided to stick it out and try to change him. Well when that doesn’t work and once again our heart is broken, what is a girl to do. Here are five easy ways to getting over him and becoming the queen you are destined to be and remain happy instead of turning bitter.

1. Surround yourself with positive friends, you know the ones that will say “girl forget him” or “let’s go out tonight and have some fun” Those are the friends that you grew up with, the ones that know you the best. We all have those friends.

2. Listen to your break-up c.d. and cry your heart out but when that c.d. is over you need to be over it. Don’t replay it and definitely don’t dwell on it by playing it over and over. Please ladies we are trying to get over him not become obsessed with the break-up.

3. Get rid of everything that reminds you of him including the friends you all have made together. Yea, they are going to say you are acting funny but if they are true friends they will understand that sometimes we need our own space. If they don’t screw them, you don’t need them because you are on the road to recovery and those people will just be another obstacle that you don’t need.

4. EXCERSISE!!!!! Now I know this one might be a hard one for some in fact it was hard for me, but it works. When you get a good workout and start to see positive results you will feel better.

5. Self-Motivate yourself, encourage yourself to do better by setting goals in your life to accomplish and focus on them.

Now you see I DIDN’T SAY start dating again because you don’t need that added on stress. The stress of wondering if he is going to “dog you out” like the other guy did or is he going to call the next day, come on ladies you know how we think. Also please don’t blow the ex phone up trying to see what he is doing or if he is dating anyone else. And the biggest NO –NO, let’s not become facebook stalkers and try to see what he is doing-we all have been guilty of that including me. But it’s ok as long as you admit you have a problem and you stop doing it. Also, revenge is never the answer don’t become friends with the girl he is trying to be with and mess up things for them. Please don’t slash his tires or put sugar and flour in his tank it’s not worth a case, because Karma will come back to you remember that. Take care ladies and remember love yourself and everything will work out and your prince will come but first we got to stop fooling with paupers and kiss a few frogs, and it has to be one that can talk don’t just kiss any and every frog. It worked for Tiana in The Princess and the Frog”, who knows it might work for us!!!! Be Blessed.