EX-FACTOR

So I logged into my myspace and saw I had a friend request from my ex. This guy was my first love, my heart and my whole purpose for living. We had many ups and downs, but our downs outweighed our ups toward the end of the relationship. We were the typical college couple, we experienced the sunshine and storms together. The '04 Bonnie and Clyde is what we called ourself when we first got together. So now its 2010 and through it all we didn't end up together. No ring, no kids, no pickett fence, nothing but dreams shattered and love lost. So why am I upset and still talking about it, Well when he requested me to be his friend in his message to me he said " Im getting married" Now we just ended this on again off again relationship back in Feb and now its May and he is engaged. WTF -excuse my language. He has always been the type to fall hard for someone but never to this extent.
 Everything I did, I did it for him for us and now he is marrying someone else. Everything I worked so hard for is completely over with. It wouldn't hurt as bad if he would have just let me go a long time ago but he never did, he held on sucking the life out of me until I had nothing left.  Why do we as women give our all to a guy that doesn't give a damn for us. I bet if she had to go through half of the things I went through with him she would think twice about marrying him. OK enough venting back to the point .
I just don't understand why he sent that to me why tell me that out of all the things to say, you tell me that... I would have never told him. Especially since we are not talk.
Honestly I wish him well but a part of me wants it to be me and the othe part is thankful its not. I have mixed feelings and I hate that I feel this way. This ex-factor thing is deep if I would have known it would come down to this I would have never kissed him that first night. Its funny how I remember everyy little detail about our relationship but when I use to ask him he would tell me he didn't remember. Thinking back I should have forgot to. In fact this is the last time Im going to think about it and move on
I pray